Depression Aid

How To Investigate Your Ego

If you are in service of your own development, then you will likely undergo some excavation.

Was I in the wrong?

Am I biased?

When digging in to your soul, do it as a loving gardener. With gentle hands put back the worm from your spade and pause for the unsettled grub.

For to them, the world is crumbling in a thunderstorm of shovel and glove. They do not have the perspective to see that you are making way for a new flower to blossom, and they may be hurt and displaced.

So too the centipedes, and spiders which you uncover in your heart will run out in fear and confusion. With their mud on your knees you must smile at them and respect the job they have done in your garden.

Feel the pain of your insecurities as they cry at being exposed, but do not get caught up in it. Feel it and then move on: “And this too.” Over and over again turn it around in your fingers as you work to shape the beauty of who you are.

As the soil sifts around in your ego, there will be bugs that you uncover. You may recoil at first at the sight of the hairy orange caterpillar hanging on the leaves. You may find habits and faults that you swore you’d never find. But in all of this do it with welcoming curiosity, and a clear grasp on your authority. Do not be scared or unsettled. You are the gardener, and in the tending of your own mind, the whole world may bloom.

Sarah Nicholson